It was 6 am on Christmas morning of 2014. I sat down on my bedroom floor and broke down crying.
It was one of those “I’m a strong woman, but I really need to cry for once” moments.
I was awake since the morning of Christmas Eve prepping last minute homemade Christmas gifts, cleaning the kitchen, finishing up chores, doing the laundry, and then of course wrapping Christmas presents for my two girls. Phew!
To sum it up, I was on autopilot with very little sleep. I’m sure many of you can relate.
I wanted Christmas morning to be PERFECT!
You know, the kids waking up early that morning (while I’m still sound asleep), running downstairs with loud giggles and big smiles on their faces eager to see their presents from Santa Claus, their stockings filled with healthy snacks and organic gums and candies, toothbrushes and such, hanging from the fireplace. :D
Us mothers.You know how it goes. We always want to create those perfect memories that our kids will always remember!
The reason for my crying that night – correction, that morning – was not because I was unhappy. I was very much happy, and I was thrilled with myself for getting everything accomplished as I was hoping to.
In fact, that morning I was feeling immensely blessed as I took pleasure and joy in creating, and sharing, in yet another Christmas Day with two special girls. :)
What more could a mother ask for, right?
The reason for my crying was because I am a strong woman.
I am a strong woman who happens to be a single mother. And even strong women will sometimes feel the need to release their emotions and just cry it out.
During that moment, I openly allowed myself to experience and release those emotions. They were there for a reason. And they were meant to be accepted, loved and understood.
And definitely not tucked away as though they’ve never even existed.
They were real tears.
And they needed to be released, openly and freely with love and understanding.
That morning, I decided I was going to quit being that mom. I had to quit being a mom who is always
– trying to be perfect
– trying to withhold her emotions AND
– trying to do it all!
Being a mom is about strength, sacrifices, understanding, patience, loyalty and of course, Love.
But being a mom is also about being Real.
Our children look up to us as their life example. Therefore, what do you want them to see?
A mother who pretends she has no feelings or emotions? A mother who doesn’t take the time to take care of herself? A mother who doesn’t put her needs first and foremost?
Or a mother who is as human as they are, and has discovered healthy ways to express herself while taking better care of herself and her kids.
That morning, not only did I QUIT being that mom, but I decided it was time to START being that M.O.M. who would reach out to other mothers experiencing the like!
Those moms skip baths, have little to zero time for exercising or proper diets, home school their kids, have health conditions which may prevent them from performing physically (yet it doesn’t stop them), takes care of their partner while caring for their kids, has toddlers/twins, supports their kids dreams, is going to college themselves while being a single mother, breaks down and cry from time to time, wonders if anyone else notices, understands what they’re feeling let alone experiences the same… ;-)
Somehow, they manage to hold it all together even when they, themselves, feel like falling apart.
Those are the moms who really inspire me and reminds me often, through their own actions, that I am never alone and that all will be just fine! :D
As a result of that emotional breakdown – correction, emotional breakthrough (there’s always a divine reasoning behind it ;-) ) – that Christmas morning, I decided one of my goals for 2015 would be to start a random act of kindness which I recently starting calling M.O.M.
M.O.M. is truly a Mom On Mission! The moms that keep moving forward, tries their best to hold it down, ensures those kids are taken care of, multitask like crazy their careers, spouses, kids, schools, etc., and all without realizing how their own actions are inspiring others such as myself.
Every month, I surprise a mother with flowers who has inspired me throughout my own personal journey as a mom. Believe me, I am the fortunate one here. I have zero to complain about when it comes to the way these women hold it down and manage their lives and families.
But you know what the best part about all of this is?
It brings me absolute JOY when yet another strong woman is reminded that she is recognized, appreciated and Loved. <3