Look, let’s face it. Change is inevitable. It’s a part of life. No matter how much you plan your course in life or strive to keep things under control, it doesn’t always go that way. Change is bound to happen. It’s part of growing, it’s part of evolving and it plays a role in becoming who you are meant to be.
See, nothing ever stays the same. A baby doesn’t remain a baby forever, right? A preteen doesn’t remain a preteen forever. Even a person doesn’t stay alive forever. People change. People grow. Maybe together, maybe apart. Circumstances change. Change happens because… it’s just a part of life!
Sometimes change is expected and can be exciting because we plan for it. We know when we’re going to finish school or graduate from college. Or we know when we’re expecting a baby or going to make a big move in life such as marriage or moving to another city. So we prepare for it, and we look forward to these promising changes.
But then at other times, change can be unexpected. And when it’s unexpected, it’s not always exciting. In fact most of the time, it can be very scary. A relationship comes to an end when we didn’t plan for it or foresee it happening (change is about taking chances). Our grown adult child is ready to move on and we’re not ready to let them go (change forces us to face it). Or we’ve lost a loved one hoping to hold on to their physical presence for as long as we can (change is beyond our control).
Change is a part of life. It happens naturally throughout the course of time. Yet knowing this, we can’t seem to accept it gracefully. It’s still hard. In fact, it can be hard to accept. We react to it negatively and many times with fear depending on the intensity, and especially if it’s a major life change.
Why do we fear change so much? Is it really easier to just avoid it? We’re so used to a certain routine or the way our lives play out on a day to day basis. We’re used to our comfort zones and when we like it that way, we want to keep it that way. But the moment we have to step away, or even think about stepping away from it, we experience discomfort. Because discomfort involves… a change!
No one ever said change would always be easy, or peachy, or even cheery. Change is inevitable. Knowing this, we should be prepared. Because no matter what, change can and will happen and sometimes we may be forced to accept it, especially if we’re not ready for it let alone expecting it. The unexpected or unplanned changes, the ones that rock our boats by the way, those are the ones that typically hit hard.
So knowing that change is bound to happen, why not prepare ourselves. How? By making a choice today. We have two choices and both involves one key word: Attitude.
Attitude defines how we will handle change whether it is planned or not. Our attitude will define how much progress we make towards accepting it, embracing it and moving on gracefully. So when faced with a change, you can be ready. Here are your two options. You can:
- CHOOSE to focus on the negative.
- CHOOSE to focus on the positive.
Sounds simple? Yes indeed. But there is work involved.
Focusing on the negative means focusing on what you’ve lost. You choose to dwell on the negatives in the situation which will continuously feed into that energy which unfortunately keeps you stuck in that one place. That place of “yuck” is what I call it. Negativity attracts more negativity. And the more negativity you attract, the more you will continue thinking negatively which makes it more difficult to accept the situation. And the more difficult it becomes to accept the situation, well…. it’s going to be difficult to stay focused and move on to that better place which awaits you. Your negativity will cause you to worry, which in turn will cause you to stress yourself out which in turn will affect your health. And because your health is now affected, now you’re even more stressed. And because you’re even more stressed, your physical health continues to become even more affected, etc., get where I’m going with this? It can become a vicious cycle and if it happens for too long, it can be a tough one to escape (therefore, don’t go there!).
Focusing on the positive means focusing on what you’ve gained. It means reminding yourself of all that you’ve learned during that particular time in your life and the blessings that came with it. It means looking forward and ahead to the fresh new opportunities that awaits you. It means accepting the fact that you cannot change the situation but only hope for the best. It means trusting, believing and having faith in what will and is yet to come. It means taking a small step towards that open road which continues to lead you down your journey in life – the one that you’re meant to live. See, when we focus on the positive we feel happier from within. And when we feel happier from within, we feel motivated. We experience inner strength. And when we experience inner strength, we keep believing in ourselves, in our abilities. That nothing but goodness awaits us. We’re able to stay focused on what we need to do next and that helps us to take the necessary steps forward, whatever that may be.
Sounds good? Yeh, you know you like option 2. 😉 Now here’s the catch. Just because you are going through changes in life doesn’t mean you’re not going to experience emotions, let alone fear. Regarding whichever option you choose, you are human! Therefore, it is absolutely natural and expected to feel and experience these emotions. Give yourself permission to reminisce, to cry, to question God (why me?), to feel angry (just make sure you release the anger in a healthy way), to talk to supporters. It’s perfectly okay to feel these emotions and you may even feel them for a while. Don’t prevent it. Just allow yourself to feel them, let it out. But don’t dwell on it for too long. Because dwelling on it will make it more difficult for you to move on, to move forward. Remind yourself that in order for you to be ready to accept the change in your life, you need to keep your chin up, smile and stay positive! Because when you focus on the blessings and the opportunities that awaits you, it will be easier and more encouraging for you to walk that path.
Change doesn’t have to be so scary. We choose to make it scary because we fear the unknown. That is what most of us have learned or been taught. But if we have faith, whether it be in God, in the universe, or in our own selves and abilities, there’s absolutely no need to fear or to allow fear to control us.
Change IS an opportunity. It is an opportunity for growth, it is an opportunity to embrace the unknown, it is an opportunity to unfold the beauty that awaits us. It is an opportunity to experience something new in life, a new beginning.
Change means time is up at Point A and now it’s time to move on to Point B. It means taking a step in that new direction, you know, the one that awaits you because that time has come.
So do yourself a favor and CHOOSE option #2. Why? Because I said so (just kidding)! 😛 Because in all honesty, it is the only way you’re going to deal with change in a very accepting, healthy and graceful manner. You will attract more insight, more guidance, more support (positive people), more direction and more positive energy with light and love in your life, by focusing on the blessings and the journey that awaits you. Plus, it will make it easier to take steps towards that new direction and do what you got to do. Remember, what you put out into the universe, you will receive!
Let the mystery unfold in its own beautiful way. Surrender yourself and your fears to God if you are deeply afraid. There’s a quote I really like, “Do not be afraid of tomorrow; for God is already there.” That says it all. Therefore, choose to just enjoy the journey. Why? Because you might as well! After all, you can’t change the situation. What’s meant to happen will happen regardless. And what’s meant to be will be no matter what! 😉
Source: Is It Time to Make a CHANGE? by Deanna Beisser