Can I believe, or will I never? Will my dreams be good, or will they haunt me forever? Will I ever be inspired, or will I stick to wondering what it’s like? What path do I take? Which way do I turn? What’s waiting around the corner? How do I overcome it all?
I feel like life is stopping me from believing. Like not believing is stopping me from following my dreams. Like not following my dreams is what’s stopping me from being inspired.
It’s like my body is caving in. Weakening at the very thought of having to live with life. But if living with life is the only thing that can help me believe, that can help me face my fears, then who am I to run from it?
But life is not only beautiful. It is not only pure. Because purity can only be found through hurt. But doesn’t the hurting have to end at some point? Doesn’t life turn into some sort of sweet bliss?
There’s a quote that I’ve learned to live by. A quote that has helped me in my darkest moments. When I needed to know that I wasn’t the only one. That I wasn’t the only one.
“You have to experience the bad, to appreciate the good.” You can tell that it’s true just from reading it. You can tell that it relates to everything life has to offer. Or maybe only some people can. Only people like me. People that worry about everything. People that see the glass as half full rather than half empty. The kind of person who, when you only had one candle burning instead of ten, says it’s better than being in the dark.
The quote kind of tells the story of my life. Experiencing something drastic to appreciate what you have. It feels like my soul is on fire. Like I’ll never be myself again. But that’s what I have to do. Forget the horror of the world, and be me in this ungrateful, selfish place we call the world. And the world revolves around that ball of molten called life. But that is what it takes to believe. To dream right. To be inspired. So I have to try.
But what if I’m tired of it? Tired of trying to be someone else? What if I don’t want to work harder to get there? What if I never do? How can life expect me to live with it?
The world is full of chaos. Nothing more, nothing less. There seems like there’s no other way to go, yet, there’s no way to get back. There might be one way. They say that life is only what you make it. In that case, how do I make it good? Is hiding from the world reflecting on me?
Maybe, just maybe, I could change it.
Not just my life, but everyone’s.
Maybe if I give life a chance instead of turning back and running into another wall, it might actually be okay. Could I possibly make the change before it’s too late?
But what if it already is too late? What if I can’t learn to live with it all?
No, it can’t be. And it won’t be. Because it’s my life. Because I have experienced the bad, so it is possible for me to find the good. Because I am already living with life, just from thinking all this.
So, can I keep on trying to believe? Can I follow my dreams without taking the wrong street? Can I be inspired?
The answer is yes. Yes to all my questions. I can keep trying to believe, even if I don’t ever get there. I can follow my dreams, because there is no wrong street. I can be inspired, because I’m an inspiration to myself.
But the one question I still have that will remain unanswered for years to come is, will anyone ever be inspired by me?
~ Written By Karina Sukhraj, 7th Grade Winner of Reflections Art Contest Literature ~